Monday, 8 February 2010


The Jacksons, 5ive, Take That (before they were even better), The month I was born in, the number in my family, the original time for Byker Grove, home time, a cheeky Five Pound note secreted in your wallet, Five Alive, Five fingers, Five toes. I definitely have a lot of time for the number Five. More than Four, but not as greedy as Six, the addition of a Fifth is a happy and warm hug to many a bleak afternoon in or journey.
Whilst punching down a 5 bar on one of my many nationwide road trips, I almost lost count of what was passing down my gullet. Fumbling around for another nugget, you can always rely that there will be squidgy piece wedged in the wrapper almost starting to bath in its own impurities. I find that the fifth piece can be used as a palate cleanser to offset any further cravings that should arise.
Being alone at the wheel and with free reign on service station candy heaven, your mind can definitely wander as to which Chocolate bar you want.
Festoons of neon, jazzy yellows, regal purples and lurid pinks adorn the chocolate bookcases.
I usually know what I am after. A simple Galaxy usually does the job. If I am feeling healthy, I may opt for Maltesters or even a Double Decker to ease the pain of a solid bar.
Growing up obsessed as most children of the 80's with Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory, I hope I am not the only one who has been disappointed when you open a bar of chocolate, particularly with the clothing of a Wonka Whipple Scrumptious Fudgemallow Delight only to find no ticket. Forget a world cup win for our country- tickets to chocolate factories. That's what the kid's want!! I feel the same heart wrenching, kick you in the stomach despair when I look for the Fry's Five Centre.
The chocolate bar is now part of urban folklore. A distant memory of "tosh nights" on a Friday with my brother, grandparents or whichever babysitter we had to wind up.
Fry's Five Centre offered children the kick from a chocolate bar like no other. It was a very crafty piece of work by Cadbury's. Like having five nights out in one night. A bulbous bar of Cadbury's chocolate injected with pretty pastels in tropical fruity flavours. could have your 5 a day and enjoy it! Strawberry, Lime, Vanilla, Coffee and Orange. Some things I find difficult to accept in life.
1. I will never sing duet with Whitney Houston to "I wanna dance with somebody" (a fantasy moment in life)
2. Lime and Chocolate work well together.
Someone obviously thought it was a great idea as a spin off to the Lime Chocolate boiled sweet which to me resembles a giant insipid snot.
I am inclined however to say that in this one instance, I can forgive the evil doctoring of my chocolate. I have even considered writing a letter to Cadbury's in the past, but to be honest, I don't know if I would be creating my own Lady Macbeth inspired madness. Too much ambition and desire could open up to many worms- other people back enjoying my delicious Fry's Five Centre.
For now, I have to cut down my habits to the Silk-Cut friendly version of Fry's Chocolate Cream. A work-shy bar, often an after thought or used as a hospital gift. This bar should not get too complacent. The recent 12 Billion takeover from Kraft could put the lives of our well loved friends in a vulnerable position. Talk of Curly Wurly's and Star Bars to face the chop next.
As a true patriot for our fabulous chocolate bars in the UK, I shall be dedicating myself to some strictly 100% cocoa content bloggage.
Watch this space folks x

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